Monday, May 3, 2010


 I was doing the dishes at home one evening when James walked into the house. There was a pile of dirty greasy plates in the sink and I had to wash every single one of them before going to bed, they had been there all day and more plates were added in the evening when Janelle entertained her friends.
“Hey you” James said and I turned around to look at him. He smiled at me. Every time he smiles at me, it warms my heart.
‘Hey” I responded.
‘That’s a plate too many for you to wash” he told me looking in the sink.
“Miss Cece won’t like to see all these plates in the sink and I have to do the dishes before going to bed.
“You have been working hard all day at the shop, Janelle could have done the dishes.” he said.
“You know how Janelle is, don’t worry about the dishes, I will wash them.” I responded.
“Janelle” he called out as he walked away from me into the living room. I could sense trouble. Janelle was upstairs talking on the phone to her boyfriend. He went upstairs still calling Janelle. Next thing I heard Janelle’s door open and she came out
“What do you want James and why are you yelling out my name like that?” I heard her ask her brother.
“Why didn’t you do the dishes, you left them for Gina to do.” he told her. I turned off the tap so I could hear what the were saying more clearly, I actually wanted to hear her response to what he had to say.
‘Is that why you were yelling my name like that?” she asked him.
“Janelle, you need to go downstairs and do the dishes, right now at least help.” James told her.
“What’s Gina there for?” she replied.
“She is here to assist mom and live with us not as a domestic maid and your personal one at that and if you have nothing else to say, I would  like to go back to my room to continue my conversation with my friend.” she told him and next thing I heard her scream, I ran out of the kitchen, I saw him wrap his hands around her neck and she looked at him in horror. I ran up the stairs.
‘Please, stop this, don’t fight” I told him as she screamed even louder.
“Let me punch the crap out of her, she is always disrespectful” he replied as he tightened his grip. I couldn’t take it anymore, I pulled him away and his weight made me fall, Janelle quickly scrambled to her feet and he pulled her legs and dragged her on the floor. I stood up, and tried to pull him again, I didn’t want Miss Cece to walk in and meet this scene, it would be horrible and I think I thought too quickly because right then the door opened and Miss Cece walked in.


“Hey” I said trying to make both of them feel comfortable. They looked tense. They didn’t know I heard their conversation.
“Hey” Pamela replied uncomfortably. “Okay, you need to leave now, I will talk to you later.” she told the young man, Dimabo.
“Oh no, I hope I didn’t interrupt anything” I said. I knew she didn’t want him around when I was there.
“No you didn’t he was just taking his leave when you walked in, isn’t it?” she asked him and Dimabo innocently shook his head.  I looked at both of them and the word foolish was the first thing that came to my mind.

Pamela sat on her bed watching television in her room when I walked in. She looked at me with bloodshot eyes. She had probably been sniffing on her white powder.
"How was your day?" I asked her.
"It was great" she responded and before she could say something else her cell phone began to ring, she looked at the screen on her I phone and answered the call.
"Hello" she began, she stood up and walked away from the room. I tried to strain my ears to listen to the conversation. She seemed clearly upset and I have no idea why. She was beginning to act really strange. Usually she made all her phone calls in my presence. Ever since I caught her with the guy selling the stuff, she started avoiding  me, we didn’t study together as usual and she became a recluse. She walked back into the room and took the remote control on the bed and changed the channel on TV. I decided to break the silence because it was getting too loud.
“What’s going on, you have been acting strange lately?”
I asked her.
She looked at me confused.
“How?” she asked me.
“We don’t even kick it together anymore, we don’t have group study we don’t talk that much, I hope you are okay, have I offended you in any way?” I asked her.
“No you haven’t I have just been busy that’s all.” she responded not looking in my eyes, I knew she was lying and she probably thought that I knew she was lying as well. I took my leave and went to my room.


Sasha and I were having lunch. Sasha and I went to high school together.
“He told me to call him Justin” I told Sasha, I narrated the story to her. Sasha worked a couple of blocks away from me but we still found time almost everyday to go and eat.
“Is he married?” Sasha asked me.
“I don’t know” I responded as I put the lasagna in my mouth.
“What do you mean by you don’t know I don’t want you fooling with no married men, their wives might be poison and I don’t want you getting into any kind of trouble with some other woman, its not worth it my dear.” Sasha said. I like Sasha, she has some real good sense but no man of her own. A drop dead gorgeous beauty, with some serious brains with no man of her own. How does she do it, I just wonder because sometimes if you check deep into her life you will find out some amazing things. Okay my mind is wandering. Sometimes the thought of men should not always dominate one’s mind.
“I know”  I responded not knowing what else to say. I don’t want Sasha to start preaching, she could go overboard sometimes.
“How is Phillip, been spending sometime together?” she asked me.
“Not really these days, Jasmine is around and when she met him she had one of those silly attitudes of hers and I am really not ready to deal with it right now.” I responded, I couldn’t believe Jasmine would behave like that but sometimes she really doesn’t know better than to pull up her funky ghetto ways.
Sasha laughed.  “ Its Jasmine as usual, I didn’t know she was around” Sasha said.
“She has been around for a couple of days now and if she is not careful I will buy her a plane ticket and send her back to Atlanta, I don’t have time for all this nonsense and I need a private life.” I told her. Ever since Jasmine came, Phillip would not come around but that is partly because I asked him not to. I don’t mix relationship with family and another reason is because my mother does not really like men. I won’t be surprised if she called me to tell me that she had found a female lover and they would like to get married. I doubt that.

Sunday, January 3, 2010


I hadn’t seen him since college and all those memories came back to me. He hadn’t aged since the last time I saw him and that was what brought back those memories
Back in UC Berkeley I had the best room mates in the world, Susan and Jenny. We always had a good time, we always had somewhere to go every weekend and it was at one of the social events I met him. I couldn’t forget that moment. Susan was talking to him and I walked up to her to give her the camera and then all of a sudden they stopped speaking and looked at me. I looked into his eyes. I sized him up to, he was well shaven and smelled real good. Susan introduced us and we ended up spending the whole night talking. We talked about everything from school to cars, internships, travel abroad program, credit cards. I liked him, he had a great sense of humor and he knew how to keep a conversation going very well. I wondered if he had a girlfriend and I figured out he probably didn’t or else he wouldn’t spend so much time talking to me. No female would leave her man out there for some other woman to prey on for too long. Some female would have come for him a long time ago. Just as our conversation was beginning to get personal, Jenny appeared from nowhere

“Cassandra, I have been looking high and low for you, its time to go, Susan is ready?” she said without acknowledging his presence. I was about to speak and she walked away. I said goodnight to him and walked away. I was tempted to turn back to look at him but I didn’t. What surprised me most was that he didn’t ask me for my number. He probably was not interested in me. He probably just needed someone to keep him company or pass time and I happened to fall prey for that. There were so many other people at the party I could have met but instead I chose to stay tied to him in the back like a sacrificial animal.
In the car, Susan and Jenny teased me about him and I couldn’t understand why.
“You should have seen the look on Cassie’s face, she didn’t even want to leave.” Jenny said.
“That’s not true, you were so rude you didn’t even say hello to him.” I replied defensively.
“I am not worried about whether I was rude to him or not and you should know by now that I don’t care whatever men decide to think when they see me.” Jenny said. Jenny was no longer interested in men. She went from one bad relationship to another and things never seemed to improve with the next guy. I think she carried all her baggage from her previous relationships and put them on the next one and for men that’s not a good thing.


Work was rather hectic, I have never been this busy and someone got transferred from the other branch to work at ours for a week. I hope it is not permanent because I have never been this busy handling this many files. It is so bad that I cannot even go on my face book page. I usually send a text message to my cousin Danielle but I can’t do so today or at least this week. One of my supervisors think that the fellow might be a spy. There were so many whisperings going on in the building. The silence was actually getting louder and I had absolutely no idea who the person was until right now. This tall, charismatic looking young man walks to my cubicle.
“RoseofSharon’ he spoke in the deepest baritone voice that made me almost jump off my seat. I took a look at him. Another nice looking dude too hot for my agenda. I am already booked with Phillip but this one is seriously out of bounds, for one he is a workmate and a boss and for two he should be the married type. I would cry if this dude is single and if his wife is next to ugly.
“Yes sir” I responded
“My name is Justin, Justin Long” he told me. I almost chuckled, Long, what a last name, Long John, long what?
“Nice to meet you Mr. Long” I replied not knowing what else to say.
“Justin” he responded with no expression on is face.
“Justin” I replied looking in his eyes.
“Yes, okay Roseofsharon, I need the data to the Los Angeles records,” he told me. I looked at him in amazement, he could have just used the intercom to relay the message to me, why did he have to come all the way to my floor and my cubcle to tell me that. Sometimes I think common sense is really not that common and I hope for sure that it is not what I am thinking because I cannot handle two men and definitely not Mr Long John. Lol. This is getting interesting. Roseofsharon you are quite something.

Friday, December 25, 2009


“I got two tickets to go and watch the John Legend concert” Phillip told me.
“Cool, so you going with your co worker? “I asked him.

“No” he told me “I am going with you” he continued.

“Are you asking me to go with you or are you telling me to go with you?” I responded laughing.

“There are some things I don’t have to ask you to do and this is one of them.” He told me.

“You must be full of it”


We had been on the phone for about two hours, I had just gotten off work and I was driving in traffic, as usual the cars were moving at snail’s pace but instead of fretting over the traffic I decided to call Phillip to pass time.

“My sister is visiting”

“Really, I didn’t know you have relatives that could come visit you, I have never heard anything about your family.” He told me. That’s quite true I really don’t talk about my family, I don’t like it and I always avoid topics about my siblings or anything. My father left my mother for another woman when I was eight and Jasmine was three years old, he left my mother with the mortgage and two kids. I never got over it, he never called me on my birthday, never showed up for school events and not even my High school or college graduation so eventually he kind of erased himself from my memory and my entire life, till present I don’t even know where he is or have any contact address, my uncle, his younger brother once tried to reach out to us when I turned thirteen, he happened to be visiting from New York but my mom was so cold to him, he didn’t even bother to try. My mom became a very bitter person, so many men tried to date her because she was really pretty and exotic but my mom developed a cold attitude towards people and gradually started hating men. She never encouraged me or Jasmine to have any boyfriends but as a teenager I was a freak, my hormones would jump at the sight of any cute guy around but I dared not tell my mom, my first crush was Jeremy Wilkins who was in my calculus class in my sophomore year in high school but he was in love with pretty Roberta Grigsby. She was a straight A student, on honor roll for the whole four years of high school, a cheerleader and Jeremy’s heart rob and most important fact, I hated her. I managed to survive High school without a boyfriend, I didn’t even go to my high school prom, my mother would not even hear of it. Stanley was the next best thing in my life when we were dating, my mother totally hated him for reasons best known to her and when our relationship ended she was happy. Danielle was the only known relative to Phillip, she is my maternal aunt’s daughter, my mom is her mother’s elder sister, we have been close since we were children.

“Oh really” I said feigning ignorance.

“Yes” he replied.
“ Oh well Jasmine is my younger sister and my only sibling you will get to meet her when you come by my house.” I told him.

“Oh that’s okay, where is she visiting from?” he asked. His sudden curiosity is making me wish I hadn’t told him my sister is around.

‘She is visiting from Atlanta.’ I informed him. I need to get off the phone as quickly as possible but how do I that and a quick idea comes into my head.

“Phil, I have an incoming call I hope you don’t mind if I called you back.” I told him spontaneously.

“Sure” he replied and I hung up. Good riddance.

Jasmine was at home laying on the couch reading a magazine when I walked in through the door. She didn’t seem to move when she saw me coming and said nothing, I looked at her for a quick minute wondering what was wrong.

“Hey Jasmine” I greeted her.

‘Hey Rosie” she responded.

‘Are you okay?” I asked.


I went into my bedroom and kicked off my shoes. Its been a long day and also a long ride home with all that traffic. I am so hungry I could eat a whole house. I walked out of my room to go and see what Jasmine might have made for lunch or dinner, I walked to the kitchen and to my dismay there was nothing on the stove. I turned around to look at Jasmine who was still engrossed with the Ebony magazine with Jada Pinkett Smith’s face splashed on the cover.

“Jasmine” I called out. She looked up from her magazine.

”What did you make for lunch?” I asked her.

“I ordered pizza from Domino’s I left some for you, it’s in the fridge.” She responded.

“Are you kidding me, in this hard economic time you order pizza?” I said grimacing at the thought of ordering pizza when there are more than enough ingredients to cook food in the house.

“Is there something wrong with that?” she asked me sitting up on the sofa.

“Yes, a lot my dear, I have spaghetti, rice, minced meat, chicken and all that stuff in the fridge for you to cook and you order something from outside why didn’t you just …………..” I said and she cut me off. She stood up and picked up her magazine and walked towards me.

“Well I didn’t feel like cooking so get over it.” She responded rudely and went into the other room. I stared after her in amazement. I was about to pick up the phone and call my mom to report Jasmine’s rude behavior but I decided against it. My mom might end up supporting Jasmine and then I would look stupid. I went to my room and went to change into something more comfortable, the light was flashing on my phone, I had a missed call, it was Phillip. It went to voicemail and he had just left me a voicemail. I picked up my phone and dialed my voicemail.

“Hey Rosie, its me Phillip, I am five minutes away from your house, I decided to surprise you, I am bringing dinner over, I went to Orient Express to get some food and I got a bowl for your sister, right now I am at Safeway trying to buy some wine, I haven’t decided which one yet, call me back please to let me know if you have a preference okay, see you soon.”

Oh my goodness, please don’t tell me that Phillip is on his way to my house and my sister has probably thrown herself into one of her foul moods. I call him back but it goes straight to voice mail, I don’t feel like leaving him a message, I need to get dressed before he gets here because I am sure that Jasmine would not answer the doorbell if it is rung. I open my closet and pull out my purple sleeveless maxi dress from the hanger and pulled off my cream colored Anne Klein suit. Dressing up is something I do rather quickly; taking a shower is the opposite. I can spend a million years in the shower trying to soak, lather, scrub and rinse. Stanley always complained about how long I spent in the shower especially when he was spending the night at my house or if he came over to my house before I took a shower, I only do stuff like that in the luxury of my own bathroom and no one else’s . Just as I pulled my long jet black, Remy Yaky weave into a ponytail, the doorbell rang. I went to the door, I peeped through the eyehole, it was Phillip, I opened the door by turning the key on the knob, Jasmine came out of her room probably out of curiosity to see who was at the door which was rather surprising.

“hello” Phillip greeted as he kissed my forehead as he walked through the door.

“Hey” I responded and gave him a hug. Jasmine stood in the doorway with a frozen expression on her face. I didn’t tell her

I was seeing anyone and she was probably surprised to see Phillip.

“Hi” said Phillip as he loosened my grip on him and looked at my sister.

“Jasmine, meet my friend Phillip Bordeuax and Philip meet my sister Jasmine Jones” I said introducing both of them. Phillip walked toward Jasmine and extended his hand for a handshake, Jasmine had a dead expression on her face as she looked at him, she extended her hand and gave him a handshake as well.

“Nice to meet you” she managed to say politely.

“very nice to meet you Jasmine” Phillip replied.

“He brought us some food to eat, so lets have dinner” I announced bringing the packs out of the plastic bag. Jasmine did not move an inch but instead stood around there, I could not understand why she was behaving like that.

“Why are you standing there, don’t you want some?” I asked her.

“In this hard economic time you order Orient Express?” Jasmine said mimicking the statement I had made not too long ago about her eating out.

“I didn’t order it, he did?” I said pointing at Phillip defensively.

“Who is he anyway?” Jasmine asked looking disapprovingly at Phillip. She did not look like she liked him one bit.

“I just told you that he is my friend” I responded.

“Oh” Jasmine replied rolling her eyes at me. I knew she was going to have an attitude and I didn’t want Phillip to have a bad impression of her because she is a really cool person but she can be awkward as well. Phillip looked at her. I just can’t tell what he is thinking in his mind but he is probably coming up with some sort of impression about her, all of a sudden I try to calm the little tension building up in the room by trying to divert attention.

“Let’s eat” I said all of a sudden and I opened a pack of food.
“I am not hungry thank you” said Jasmine as she walked towards her room.

“Can you at least be nice?” I responded. She was beginning to sulk like a little child and have a bad attitude.

Phillip looked at me and shrugged his shoulders. It was not a good way to meet some potential in-law.

“I am really sorry about that, I absolutely apologize for her behavior,” I told him embarrassed.

“Its no problem, you are not responsible for her behavior.” she is an adult and has every right to decided what she wants to do, as for me, I am not offended by her behavior, lets sit don and savor a very good meal.” he told me.

Phillip had a way of reassuring me of something. I have a lot of confidence in him just as much as he has a lot of confidence in me. We sit down to eat.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009


I got on the Greyhound Bus after paying $25. It is a really big bus, relaxing and away from everything I know. I wish I could find my sister but I can’t I remember when everything was perfect until mother died and father was so heartbroken he walked away. He couldn’t cope. He lost his job because he grieved so much and could no longer concentrate. He could not take care of us like mother did. Mother was ill in the hospital for a long time. Mother was his best friend and companion and in this world no one would replace her in his life. After mom died nothing was the same anymore.

I had become a beauty overnight. I had become quite something to look at. I had the most beautiful and curvy body ever. I had developed into a young woman very quickly. I found a job as a dishwasher in a small restaurant which had a grill and bar. It was owned by a little lady called Cece. After Cece heard my pathetic story  decided to take me in. I lived in a room in Cece's house which in exchange I washed dishes and did many other house chores. For a girl my age I had too much on her plate. School was no longer my priority and Cece did not encourage me to go either. Cece had a son named James and a daughter named Janelle. James had a greet liking for me. It wasn't just a platonic liking, he was sexually attracted to me. I didn't care much for James, I was traumatized at the thought of not seeing her siblings. She watched James and Janelle yell at each other. It wasn't like that in my own home. Janelle was rather hot tempered. She was sixteen years old with a steady boyfriend who is a roadside mechanic.  Cece who is a single mother has no control over the choice her daughter has made. Janelle claims that she and her boyfriend Jamal are truly in love with each other.   I don’t understand what love is anymore, if the love between my parents ended when my mother died, then I have no reason to be dribbling in the love thing. Cece worked my butt off at her little restaurant but I also learned how to cook a lot of stuff. James came to help out in the evenings and also to chat with me. He was very friendly and a lot of ladies liked him but he had his eyes on me.